Tag: Rio Grande

  • Ask a Mexican: Special Pandemic Edition

    Is it true that most Mexicans are carriers of the swine flu due to the fact that they eat a lot of chicharrones, or is it the fact that your women are so pig-like? I knew that Mexicans have muy shitty diets, but now we have to worry about them infecting us with a pig-borne […]

  • Why Do Mexicans Swim in Their Clothes?

    Dear Readers: The Mexican has previously published only one “best of” column in his nearly four years of living under his cousin’s identity in this country, but I must pull this week’s first pregunta out of the archives because ustedes keep asking it. (Obviously, not enough of you bought my paperback, since it’s on page […]

  • Free Will Astrology

    ARIES (March 21–April 19):“Surreal hope” means having faith in a future opportunity that at first appears in an out-of-context situation. Say, for example, that you have an unsettling initial exposure to a stranger whom you will eventually realize is an important ally. Maybe when you see this person for the first time, he or she […]

  • Todavia Tres Hombres

    Filthier than a buck-nekked dip in the Rio Grande downstream from a maquiladora. Filthier (in every sense; there’s even a “motherfucker”) than XXX, which itself was better than anything to come out of Japan since Locust Abortion Technician, if not “You’re Gonna Miss Me.” And that’s no slight on the honorable Japanese, compañeros. They made […]

  • Tex-Mex Platter

    Bodies contorted, arms bent back into wings, or necks bent, yowling at the moon—Sigfrido Aguilar and Jim Calder do a mean chicken and coyote imitation. But when the critters in The Alamo Piece hop off the barnyard floor into the rarefied air of metaphor, they’re riding for a fall. These accomplished clowns, one Mexican, one […]