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Food Music Mixtapes For All Your Summer Rug-Cutting Needs

As both Jessica Simpson and the Bard can attest, music is indeed the food of love. We, however, would much rather focus on the music of food. There’s no lack of songs on the subject, so under two “foodonyms” (DJ Escoffier and DJ Bearded James) we’ve compiled a duo of mixes intended to get your stomachs rumbling while you twerk. Covering a variety of genres, from disco to hip-hop, R&B and soul to Mary-Kate and Ashley Olson’s timeless classic “Gimme Pizza” (which may or may not have laid the foundation for dubstep), there’s enough material here to dance your cares away at a summer picnic or sit back with a negroni and marinate along with your meats on Independence Day.

With Steak Plates & Bellyaches Volumes 1 and 2, the goal was to meld two things that bring people together into a double scoop of aural comfort food. Want to take this hot-boxed party bus to the next level? Host a potluck featuring foods from the tracklist. Not XXX-treme enough? Try finishing each dish before the next song plays.

Without further ado, we present Volume 1. Check back tomorrow for Volume 2.

Tracklist:

1. The Life and Times of Tim “The New O’Flaherty’s” / Amon Tobin – Chomp Samba

2. People Under The Stairs – Eat Street

3. Cibo Matto – Artichoke

4. Snoop Doggy Dogg – Gin and Juice

5. Deerhoof – Kidz are so Small

6. Z-Trip – Breakfast Club

7. Digital Underground – Oregano Flow

8. Delocated – Grinder High

9. Kool & the Gang – Chocolate Buttermilk

10. Ray Brown, John Clayton & Christian McBride – Taco with a Pork Chop

11. MF Doom – Orange Blossoms

12. Webstar & Young B – Chicken Noodle Soup

13. Brenda Taylor – You Can’t Have Your Cake and Eat It Too

14. Led Zeppelin – The Lemon Song / Party Down “Sirloin Sliders”

15. Kim Mitchell – Go For A Soda

16. Vampire Weekend – Horchata

17. Lou Courtney – Hot Butter ‘N’All

18. Elvis Presley – Crawfish

19. Chuck Womack & The Sweet Souls – Ham Hocks

20. Michael Franks – Eggplant / Curb Your Enthusiasm “Palestinian Chicken”

21. People Under The Stairs – Chicken Kebap

22. Mandrill – Mango Meat

23. Queen Latifah – Bring The Flavor

24. Tom Goes To The Mayor “This is a health camp, gah!” / Mandrill – Chutney

 

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Anthony Bourdain Attacks Paula Deen Again; Daniel Boulud Sues Buffalo Restaurant

Anthony Bourdain was fine form this week — back to attacking his favorite target, Paula Deen. On Tuesday, he appeared on ABC’s Good Morning America and went at Deen again, calling her decision to cook fattening food while hiding her diabetes “in excruciatingly bad taste, unconscionable, and cynical.” That same day, Eater published an interview with the food personality, in which Bourdain said that he’s “pissed” about Frank Bruni criticizing his comments about Deen in a Times op-ed piece. (Bruni called them “ill-timed elitism.”) Well, Bourdain might be mad, but he’s clearly not sorry.

Daniel Boulud is suing the owners of Duke’s Bohemian Grove Bar in Buffalo, New York, over the use of the name DBGB. [NY Daily News]

Contestants from Top Chef will be cooking in malls, farmers’ markets, and food festivals throughout the U.S. as part of a nationwide tour. [Zagat Buzz]

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Kristen Wiig’s Priceless SNL Parody of Paula Deen

We really don’t mean to pick on Paula Deen, but she has had quite a year, and it’s only March. Just one more thing for now, we promise: Kristen Wiig’s SNL parody of Deen, which is kind of harsh but too funny not to post.

Watch it here.

Also check out Wiig’s fake DiGiorno pizza commercial.

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Paula Deen In Trouble Again

Paula Deen is in deep water again, but this time it’s not for eating too many doughnut burgers. Lisa Jackson, a former manager at Uncle Bubba’s Seafood and Oyster House, a restaurant owned by Deen and her brother Bubba Hiers, claims the two siblings sexually and racially harassed and assaulted their restaurant’s employees.

Jackson slapped Deen and Hiers with a lawsuit, which alleges that they used racial slurs at the restaurant and banned black employees from using the restaurant’s front entrance and a restroom that white employees could use. Jackson also claims Hiers made unwanted sexual advances toward her until she quit in order to avoid a nervous breakdown.

On Tuesday, Deen’s lawyer responded to the accusations in the suit, asserting that Jackson “has made baseless, inflammatory allegations, threatening to go to the press and ruin Paula Deen’s reputation and the reputation of her businesses unless we paid her a large sum of money.” He said he can’t wait to go to court.

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The Doctors TV Show Rips Paula Deen

Here’s the picture of Deen shown on this morning’s The Doctors.

First thing on this morning’s episode of the CBS show The Doctors, the panel lit into Paula Deen. They first criticized her for knowing she had diabetes three years ago and still promoting unhealthy meals on TV, noting “80 percent of type 2 diabetes is attributable to lifestyle choices.” It doesn’t really matter that she repeatedly said, “I’m your cook, not your doctor,” according to Dr. Travis Stork (the emergency-room specialist).

]

The panel expressed incredulity at Deen’s behavior, especially her crass endorsement of diabetes medicines.

Dr. Lisa Masterson (the ob-gyn) chimed in, “What I am really disturbed by is she’s signed on to be a spokesman for diabetes medicine.” Addressing the portly chef by looking into the camera, she continued, “Paula Deen, you’re an amazing cook, you should not be hawking medicines.”

Dr. Stork chimed in, noting that the best results are achieved by dietary changes, not by medicines, “We try to treat diabetes with pills. … I see amputations all the time. A pill is not the answer.”

Dr. Masterson: “The best thing she could do is use this to turn around her lifestyle and use her platform to teach America.”

They then showed Deen’s iconic bacon burger with two Krispy Kremes instead of buns, and suggested she should replace the donuts with whole-wheat buns.

Dr. Masterson finished up the segment by saying, “Paula, wake up and smell the bacon.”

The offending burger

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Nine Food TV Shows We’d Love To See

How did food television become so boring and predictable? Umpteenth season of Top Chef? Yawn. Endless cupcake wars? Yawn. Paula Deen pouring more butter into the cake? Yawn. Guy Fieri tucking into another giant hamburger? Zzzzzzzzz. Well, the time has come to invent new types of food-themed shows, and here are a few modest suggestions.

1. DeMarco’s Way — Between scrupulously constructed pies, pizza impresario Dominic DeMarco meets with shadowy Mafia figures in the dining room of his pizzeria, as long lines of reverent tourists and foodies look on. Together, Dom and the crime bosses plot the shakedown of other businesses along Brooklyn’s Avenue J, and the firebombing of competing pizza parlors. CRIME DRAMA

2. Abercrombie & Fudge — Mario Batali and Joe Bastianich play two charming ambulance-chasing lawyers who discover that they’re capable of making the world’s best chocolate fudge, and then use it to bribe police, judges, and court officers. Outlandish mayhem ensues. SITCOM

3. Porked! — Each week highlights a different celebrity chef, who takes over a tent at the local farmers’ market, and uses his wiles — and a series of cunning disguises — to punk a gullible populace. Hilariously, he labels the meat he buys at Western Beef as “organic,” tucks pieces of rotten cheese inside good ones, and sells “local” wines that have been decanted from five-gallon jugs of Yellowtail. The reactions of the customers when the “farmer” is revealed to be, say, Michael White or Christina Tosi are priceless. REALITY TV

4. Bean There, Done That — In this prequel to The Office, Rainn Wilson (Dwight) decides to change his farm over from beets to cranberry beans. All the other actors are repurposed from the original series, with Jenna Fischer (Pam) playing a horny widow on the farm next door, Craig Robinson (Darryl) a sharecropper newly arrived from the South Carolina, and Kate Flannery (Meredith) the virtuous and brainy mayor of a small town. Steve Carell (Michael) makes his triumphant return as an itinerant margarine salesman. SITCOM

5. Top Chef: Single Ingredient Challenge — The cheftestants are given only a single ingredient in this latest iteration of the Top Chef empire and told to do something wonderful with it. In the first rollicking episode set in Sioux Falls, South Dakota, that ingredient is butter. Some merely melt it, some make elaborate sculptures, some create new and unusual hair styles, while others use it as lube for sexual experimentation. REALITY TV

6. Butchering Amy — A celebrity butcher played by John Goodman decides he has been paying way too much for the boutique cuts of meat and humanely raised animals he’s been selling, so he hits upon a plan to kill and butcher his Prospect Heights neighbors instead, and finds a way to cut up and display the meat so that it looks like pork, veal, and lamb. SITCOM

7. By a Hare — This half-hour series focuses on the teams of crack professionals that create the wacky and wonderful hairstyles for such shows as Chopped, Iron Chef America, and Top Chef: Single Ingredient Challenge. The pressure is on to invent and repair complex styles as the tapings proceed in a behind-the-scenes look at these competitions. In the final segment of each weekly show, one stylist is asked to create a special family meal for the other hairdressers — wholly out of rabbit. REALITY TV

8. Food Hoarders — Survivalist contestants are told the world is about to end, and given 24 hours to amass the biggest and most diverse stockpile of food for their bunkers. At the end of the episode a panel of food professionals — chefs, magazine editors, and restaurant critics — judge the range and excellence of the stockpiles. GAME SHOW

9. Tapeworm — In this competition, normal people are infected with tapeworms, and then told to try to keep their weight steady or increase it. The series will be shot in a spa-ranch-type setting. Each episode ends in a dramatic weigh-in, and during the hour contestants try to remain as inactive and indolent as possible, in order to avoid burning calories. REALITY TV

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Paula Deen, Southern Butter Belle, Confirms Diabetes Rumors

Paula Deen has diabetes, but the Southern belle of butter intends to keep on eating the fatty, sugary, salty foods linked to the disease, according to Time.

Rumors about Deen’s type 2 diabetes diagnosis first surfaced Friday in The Daily, when the newspaper published reports that she would start promoting an anti-diabetes drug, Time reports.

Deen confirmed the talk Tuesday morning, telling the Today show and USA Today that she’d known about the diagnosis for three years — and had only told her family.

She told the media that she wasn’t going to stop eating the Southern gutbombs — such as doughnut-wrapped hamburgers — that propelled her to celebrity-chef status, but would consider eating them in moderation and modifying the recipes to make them “healthier.”

Anthony Bourdain, in perfect Anthony Bourdain form, has lambasted Deen, saying that she acted “in bad taste” to conceal her diabetes, Time notes.

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This Week in Food Blogs: Paula Deen Might Still Be an ‘Evil Sex Fiend Succubus’

This week in food blogs …

What big teeth you have!
What big teeth you have!

Eater National describes Paula Deen as an “evil sex fiend succubus” again. We appreciate the reminder, and will remain vigilant and report any suspicious, succubus-like activity.

Diner’s Journal has some bad news for filicidal foodies: You probably can’t kill your family by cooking the stuffing inside the Thanksgiving turkey. Damn it Phew.

Grub Street has the exclusive on Olivia Munn’s Thanksgiving traditions. She only eats the Stove Top and canned cranberry sauce with “ridges,” making her all the more endearing.

Serious Eats maps out New York’s holiday pies. Far more interesting, though: an anti-Di Fara tirade.

Agata Buzz names the seven best LES restaurants. Meatball Shop and Katz’s Delicatassen make the cut.

 

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Food Prices to Rise Even Higher; Chefs Are Tweeting Up a Storm

Opting for produce from small, local, organic farms cannot guarantee that you will avoid the food-safety issues that go along with large-scale farming.
[Washington Post]

The USDA is reporting that food prices are expected to rise up to 4.5 percent, the sharpest increase since 1978.
[Wall Street Journal]

According to the Health Department, one soda a day is equivalent to 50 pounds of sugar a year. Yikes!
[CBS New York]

Wegmans faces $195,000 in fines for health violations in their New York bakery and distribution center.
[Boston Herald]

In case you haven’t heard, the word “artisan” means nothing anymore. You can find it slapped on Domino’s pizza, Tostitos, and Starbucks sandwiches.
[USA Today]

Chances are your favorite chef is tweeting what he plans on cooking that night, dinner specials, and even posting pics of the main course.
[Wall Street Journal]

Paula Deen denies rumors that she has a beef with Michelle Obama. The butter-loving Food Network chef has pointed out that the first lady likes fried foods.
[NY Post]

For more dining news, head to Fork in the Road, or follow us @ForkintheRoadVV.

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Food Network Chefs Gone Wild

Pick up a copy of Harper’s Bazaar this month and you’ll find a sexy Sandra Lee draped across its pages. The often conservatively dressed Food Network star vamps it up for a piece on her “semi-homemade” success and home life with Governor Cuomo.

Meanwhile, Maxim selects its five hottest female chefs, and you’ll never guess who gets top honors …

Oh, sure, Giada and Padma make the list. But the pervs over at the lad mag save their dirtiest fantasies for Paula Deen: “Just imagining the slippery, sloppy butter-sex we’d have with Paula makes us … hungry for a bacon-wrapped, beer batter-fried stick of butter, weirdly,” writes the author (who is a woman, by the way).

For more dining news, head to Fork in the Road, or follow us @ForkintheRoadVV.