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A SYNTH LIFE

Get down to synthesized sounds on the synthetically scenic grounds of Brooklyn Bridge Park as BRIC’s Celebrate Brooklyn! festival preseason dance parties continues. Singer Miho Hatori and keyboardist Yuka Honda are Cibo Matto, whose first album in 15 years, Valentine Hotel, blends cinema samples, jazz-hop arrangements, and lost-in-translation vocals into a dreamlike tour through public and oh-so-private spaces — with a special nod to the housekeeping service from hell. With Javelin and JD Samson.

Thu., May 15, 7 p.m., 2014

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IT’S A MAN’S, MAN’S WORLD

Perhaps you first met JD Samson when she replaced Sadie Benning in Kathleen Hanna’s Le Tigre, making the rare transition from stagehand to bandmember and writing songs like This Island highlight “Viz.” Perhaps you first heard her production work on Christina Aguilera’s Peaches featuring electro album cut “My Girls,” or maybe you stumbled across recent performances by her new group, MEN, at Brooklyn Bowl or Union Pool. Perhaps you’ve never met her at all. No matter where you fit in, make sure you make it to this gig at Knitting Factory.

Sat., Dec. 14, 10:30 p.m., 2013

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BROOKLYN OR BUST!

How long have we loved it—this lady mag for real ladies? Could it really be 20 years that we’ve turned to BUST for a feminist take on culture, sex advice about how to please everyone, and, all right, pictures of kittens in adorable costumes? Celebrate rad women tonight at the BUST Magazine 20th Anniversary Extravaganza. And rest assured, we don’t use “extravaganza” lightly; considering the lineup, we’ll sanction it here: Local funnywoman Julie Klausner emcees, with sets by JD Samson and Jonathan Toubin. Performers include Cibo Matto, Amber Tamblyn, Murray Hill, Awkwafina, and more. Sit in on the prestigious “Golden Bra” awards ceremony and enjoy a birthday cupcake. Tickets also include a year’s subscription to the magazine.

Thu., July 25, 8:30 p.m., 2013

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MALE BONDING

Le Tigre fans wondering if that great New York City trio will ever make another 
album are in good hands with JD Samson’s outfit, MEN. Last year, the band released its supersmart debut, Talk About Body, and now, Samson and her chums are in the midst of putting out four follow-up EPs; the second, Time, appeared in May. Like Le Tigre’s best stuff, it’s arty, openly protest-minded electro-punk that never forgets about hooks or grooves. (Samson recruited Alex Suarez to produce Time after writing with his band Cobra Starship earlier this year.) Tonight, MEN plays as part of the CBGB Festival, but they’re more focused on punk’s future than its past.

Fri., July 6, 7 p.m., 2012

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Friendz With Benefits

This summer, we were lucky enough to catch Making Friendz—Tami Hart’s self-described “Punk ’n’ B” solo act—open for Xray Eyeballs and K-Holes at a nearly empty Shea Stadium. Whereas most performers struggle in this sort of environment, Hart embraced it, rolling on the floor, belting her lyrics as if we were all singing along, and converting those in the attendance into immediate fans. Tonight, she performs solo before joining MEN (fronted by Le Tigre’s JD Samson) to headline a show put together by the Brooklyn-based DIY feminists in Permanent Wave.

Thu., Jan. 26, 8 p.m., 2012

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MEN

On the newly released Talk About Body, former Le Tigre member JD Samson’s current trio pick up more or less where Le Tigre left off, romping through funny/serious electro-punk ditties about music, gender, and equality. MEN’s hooks aren’t quite as sharp as Le Tigre’s were, but there is little danger of that fact preventing a robust dance party tonight. With NewVillager and IUD.

Wed., March 9, 9 p.m., 2011

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THE WARMTH OF THE SUN

P.S.1 Warm-Up is a summertime dream for art lefties, an afternoon dance party of prolific DJs in the courtyard of the gorgeous Long Island City art space. James Murphy, Afrika Bambaataa, Scissor Sisters, Delorean, and many more have hit these decks for the writhing, angular masses, and this week’s lineup is as solid as they come: JD Samson of Le Tigre, MEN, Kalup Linzy & the Sweet, Sampled, and LeftOva, and DJ Rupture. Dance for life.

Sat., July 24, noon, 2010

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HAPPY BUST DAY

We love publications that originate from being annoyed at everyone else. And in 1993, Debbie Stoller, Laurie Henzel, and Marcelle Karp were annoyed enough to create BUST, an alternative-feminist mag for young urban women in the know that goes beyond big boobs and big hair. A decade and a half later, BUST is still as pert as ever, celebrating its 15th anniversary with—what else?—a huge ass-kicking party in a circus tent! Funny lady Amy Sedaris—whom you might have spotted selling her yummy cupcakes at the glossy’s famous Holiday Craftaculars—will emcee tonight’s festivities, which include a hot lineup of bitchy entertainers like Murray Hill, Morningwood, Le Tigre’s JD Samson, the World Famous *BOB*, and the Pontani Sisters. Be sure to get there early: The first 500 people get goodie bags, and there’s free cupcakes and BUST magazine subscriptions for all.

Tue., Aug. 12, 8 p.m., 2008

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Miss America Would Be Quaking in Her Dyed-To-Match Heels

The Miss America pageant—that bastion of hair spray so wholesome that contestants couldn’t wear bikinis in the swimsuit competition until 1997—ain’t got nothing on the Miss L.E.S. Pageant. Who needs scholarship money when unlimited drink tickets, a 99-cent tiara, and $100 are on the line? Who needs baton twirling when a contestant (like one from 2003’s pageant) dramatically retrieves her personal statement from her vagina? Who wants Bert Parks to host when you can have the “hardest working middle-aged man in show business,” Murray Hill? Recently proclaimed “Downtown’s New ‘It’ Boy” by The New York Times, Hill has been presenting and hosting this cheeky pageant for L.E.S.(bians) and other downtown ladies for years. This year’s pageant will be his fond farewell to Fez—the cabaret venue closes March 17. Before it shutters for good, Miss Delancey, Miss Houston, Miss Allen, Miss Rivington, and Miss Orchard (whittled down from 1,500 applicants) will duke it out in swimwear, evening gown, interview, “platform statement,” and (time permitting) talent categories. Between the edgy panel of celebrity judges (including the Voice‘s own Michael Musto, performance artist Mike Albo, drag-transgendered performer Linda Simpson, musical-circus performers the Wau-Wau Sisters, and Le Tigre’s JD Samson) and the Pontani Sisters’ accompanying burlesque show, prissy Miss America would be quaking in her dyed-to-match heels.

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There She Is, Miss L.E.S.: She’ll Take the Town by Storm

Ladies and gentlemen, meet Miss Allen, Miss Delancey, Miss Houston, Miss Orchard, and Miss Rivington—as this year’s contestants, they were hand plucked out of 500 earnest applicants for the fourth annual L.E.S. pageant. Literally scuffling over who will carry home the plastic tiara purchased from the local 99-cent store, a whirlwind of drink tickets, and $100 in singles, these youthful lesbians (yes, it’s dykes only, hence the “les” in the title) trade in their Birkenstocks to compete in categories that include platform statements, swimsuit flaunting, evening wear, an interview, and, if time permits, talent (after all, who really cares about that?). Murray Hill—the mastermind behind this affair—eggs on the spectacle as his Murrayettes (ex-showgirls and rehabilitating pageant runners-up) take over halftime. Oh, and let’s not forget the celeb judges tallying votes and taking bribes: our very own Michael Musto, comedienne Marga Gomez, drag first lady Linda Simpson, the fabu Wau Wau Sisters, and Le Tigre’s JD Samson. Later, gaze at previous pageant winners reliving their L.E.S. heyday as they impart the pivotal role donning le tiara plastique played in their lives. Let’s hope all the competitors get loaded before appearing onstage like 2003’s third runner-up!