Elbow-Porn Censored by Facebook? Try Knuckle-Porn.

The Daily Mail published an article yesterday about a photo that was removed from Facebook because it appeared to show the ta-tas of a blond woman sitting in a bathtub. The alleged tits actually were just her elbows — her voluptuous, firm elbows — and the photo was later restored.

Over the weekend, a thirtysomething former Marine/cop, completely mature, successful businessman — who will remain nameless — sent me the image posted to the right, along with the following description: “Fatty with a landing strip.”

It became clear that knuckles are way pornier than elbows.

What followed was an exchange of “knuckle porn” neither of us are particularly proud of.

See some of the highlights below.






Friend Fork in the Road on Facebook!

Hi there, friend. Not only are we on Twitter @ForkintheRoadVV these days, but you can like us on Facebook at ForkintheRoadVV.

Our Facebook page is a vibrant source of everything a New York foodie like yourself could dream of. For examples of some of the content, just check out a few of our posts from this week, including Clarissa Wei highlighting McDonald’s Unwrapped, a cooking class which used strictly ingredients from under the Golden Arches. Or how about Mallory Stuchin’s roundup of five great restaurants found in Little Italy. Or, hey, the weekend is almost here, so why don’t you check out my thoughts on pumpkin beers? C’mon, make Zuck proud, and click that little ‘Like’ button.


Bronx Man Faces Terrorism Charges for Drunken Facebook Death Threat

Just in case you’re considering getting shitfaced tonight and then firing off some angry Facebook posts threatening to kill your boss, you should be advised that you could potentially be hit with terrorism charges, as is the case for a Bronx man who wants his boss to “suck the gun” before he blows his brains out.

Jason Steward, a 29-year-old Time Warner employee, is in some pretty serious shit over the threatening posts, which were posted on Facebook on September 13, and apparently were the last straw in an ongoing dispute with his supervisor over overtime pay.


“There is not a word in the dictionary that can express the rage that im in! I really really hate [the supervisor]!,” Steward ranted on Facebook. “I wish I had a machine gun to give them all the business…I will go to work and blow all them low budget [expletive deleted]
heads off…Make u [the supervisor] suck the gun before I off U [expletive deleted].”

Other Time Warner employees reported the posts to the supervisor, who called police.

When Steward was arrested, he told authorities that “at the time, I was intoxicated and angry.  I would like to put everyone at ease and apologize once again. . . . I never intended to hurt anyone, and words will not express how sorry and senseless my behavior was; I am deeply embarrassed for my stupid actions.”

Embarrassed and apologetic as he might be, Steward is — as we mentioned — in some serious shit; he has been charged with making a terroristic threat and second-degree aggravated harassment. If convicted, he faces up to seven years in prison.

“If an individual posts a threat on a social networking site, it will be treated seriously and
investigated promptly to ensure that the verbal threat does not escalate into physical aggression or violence,” Queens District Attorney Richard Brown says. “Workplace violence is a serious issue, and all threats or indications of potential violence will be dealt with appropriately by my office.”

*UPDATE* Steward has been fired by Time Warner. According to company spokesman Eric Mangan: “We thank the Queens District Attorney for quickly investigating this threat. Ensuring our people’s safety is a top priority. Mr. Steward was terminated from Time Warner Cable on September 15, as we have zero tolerance for this behavior.”


Facebook Leads To Fall Of Two Brooklyn Gangs; “Very Crispy Gangsters” Are Crispy No More

As it currently stands, the body count from the ongoing war between the “Rockstarz” and the “Very Crispy Gangsters,” both thuggish Brooklyn street gangs, stands at three dead VCG members — which prompted a member of the “Rockstarz” to post on Facebook that “Rockstarz are up 3-0.”

Unfortunately for the gangsters, authorities can also access Facebook, which is why 49 thugs are now behind bars, many of which are facing murder charges.

The dead-gangster tally doesn’t include a handful of innocent victims of the street war for a section of East New York, including a 10-year-old boy who was hit with a stray bullet while watching TV in his own home. That shooting — as well as several others — also have been linked to the gangs.

Kings County District Attorney Charles Hynes and New York City Police
Commissioner Ray Kelly announced this afternoon that the two gangs have
been “taken down,” with 27 Rockstarz and 22 VCG members indicted on
various gang-related charges.

“Detectives used social media as well as good old fashioned police work to track these killers,” Kelly says.

District Attorney Charles Hynes says the gangsters would send friend
requests to rival gangsters with the lone purpose of threatening and
provoking them. 

According to the indictment, the war between
the rival gangs waged for three years, and started with the murder of
VCG gangster Taquan “Tay Weez” Crandell, by Rockstarz gang member
Michael Allen Reid, in September 2009.

As the war waged on,
there were two other VCG casualties, including the murder of Namadi
Simpson on April 9, 2010, and Johnny Santiago, who was beaten to death
on June 6, 2011.

Following Santiago’s murder, Rockstarz posted the “3-0” comment on Facebook, supposedly referencing the three murders.

members sought revenge for the murders of their buddies — but their
aim apparently sucks; at least three innocent people were shot by VCG
members who were trying to take out Rockstarz.

As much as the two gangs hate each other, they apparently hate the criminal justice system even more.

indictment alleges that gangsters from each gang cooperated with each
other to prevent witnesses from testifying against them in various
criminal trials.

In a recorded call from Riker’s Island,
Rockstarz member Geraldo Mena told VCG member Brandon Matos the names of
VCG witnesses who would testify against him. Matos then offered to
prevent the witnesses from making their court appearance.

In all, 11 VCG gangsters and 16 Rockstarz are charged with
conspiracy in the first degree. Others are also charged with murder in
the second degree, attempted murder in the second degree, and 16 are
charged additionally with criminal possession of a weapon in the second


The Most Startling Thing I’ve Ever Read On Facebook

Usually, Facebook is a place for laughs, rants about Madonna, innuendo-laden images, self-promotion, and sarcasm, but a guy just left this way more serious posting about his terrible interactions with his relations:

“We are not family. Never was. Never will be.

“I will not stand behind an African American family in 2012 that does not support gay rights in America, nor shall I allow my absentee father [to] allow family members to ridicule me and still consider me family.



“I stand up for what I believe in.

“I am a homosexual that was molested for over a decade by a registered sex offender and also by an Olympic Gold Medalist from age 5 to 14.

“I have retained my statement as the truth and I speak up for abused victims.

“I do not care what any [one] thinks about me.

“I know it’s shameless but I have a story to tell.

“I have a message to send that it is not okay and never will be okay.”

Tell it!


Facebook Allows Brands to Use Your ‘It’s Complicated’ Status Against You

It seems like almost every day, we read a story that makes the social network come off as that much creepier and then proceed to open a new tab on our browser, pull up Facebook and scan our notifications. And this one, in regards to marketing, it is a real doozie.

Yesterday, the social media giant announced to investors and brands alike that companies would now be able to target their advertisements based on a new batch of your details. With the new update, brands will be able to sell you shit no one every buys in accordance to:
– Your Education;
– Your Gender;
– Your ‘Relationship Status;’
– Your Workplace; &
– Your ‘Interested In’
This revamped targeting scheme comes off the heels of the previous setup, where companies were only allowed to touch your language and location details. Hence why, if you live in New York, you see a bunch of SoHo start-up ads, Brooklyn events and shady car service deals on the right side of your Facebook.
And, with the added dose of marketing creepiness, things are about to get much, much more personal.
In addition to what the new page for brands will look likeMashable reported on the scenario Facebook reps offered the audience to show the new branding at work: “Say you want to target an audience for a back-to-school campaign. You can drill down to college kids 18 to 21 so your post will be seen more by that age group.”
In one of the first articles I ever wrote for the Voice, I reported on the use of Facebook by the Presidential campaigns to split us all into easily accessible and dumbed down demographics. There’s a name for this neocorporate sales pitch: it’s called micro-targeting. By hitting a direct group of people through social media, companies are able to better control what they’re advertising and to whom.
And the miserable truth of it all is that micro-targeting is a vicious cycle for the consumer and Facebook user. Only one person can provide these companies with all these facts and figures: you. But, if you choose not to provide people with your education, workplace, gender and all that jazz, it’s kind of hard to use the social network for what it’s worth. In other words, you have to sell out to be included.
That’s the upside of the argument that these major websites, including Twitter (who is also now targeting tweets at us, as of two weeks ago), Google and the rest of ’em, are becoming the Big Brother Orwell spoke about. No social network is private; therefore, there can be no ‘invasion.’ We offer the details and the companies come around to scoop our naivety for their digital sales team to assemble and gift wrap.
The only difference is that, now, they can do it faster, smarter and much more efficiently.

Megan Merkel, Upstate Woman Blamed In Death Of Teacher, Wants Haters To “Suck A ___ And Choke On It”

After allegedly mowing down a teacher while driving drunk, nothing (ahem) screams “class” more than taking to Facebook to declare your innocence — and tell the “haters” to “suck a dick and choke on it.”

That’s what an Upstate woman did over the weekend after allegedly killing a high school biology teacher near Rochester while driving drunk…at 7:45 a.m.

Just to re-emphasize the class factor, we’ll repeat: police say 23-year-old Megan Merkel was driving drunk at 7:45 A.M. before running over a teacher and then telling the world to “suck a dick and choke on it.”

(See Merkel’s idiotic Facebook rant below)
According to various reports from Upstate media outlets, Merkel was driving northbound on Route 250 in Penfield, a suburb of Rochester, alongside her recently paroled boyfriend, 22-year-old Mark Scerbo, who was driving his motorcycle next Merkel’s car.

Police say Scerbo — who served time as a guest of the state for DWI — was repeatedly passing Merkel’s car to do wheelies on his bike as the two barreled down the road.

Also on Route 250 Sunday morning was 40-year-old teacher Heather Boyum — a mother of two children — who was riding her bike on the shoulder of the road.

As Scerbo again passed Merkel to do yet another wheelie, he hit Boyum, throwing her from her bike. Then Merkel ran her over — before fleeing the scene.

Scerbo was taken to a local hospital, where he’s getting treated for “serious injuries.” Boyum was taken to the same hospital, where she was pronounced dead.

Merkel was arrested shortly after leaving the scene of the wreck. She was booked into jail on charges of DWI and released — which is when she invited those upset that her stupidity led to the death of an innocent mother of two to “suck a dick and choke on it.”

Class, class, class.

Merkel, as we mentioned, only has been charged with DWI. Authorities, however, say additional charges could be filed.


Joseph Kony 2012: Be Honest, Had You Even Heard Of This Guy Before This Week?

If you’re like us, you’ve probably absolutely had it with Ugandan warlord Joseph Kony — we’re not talking about his army of child sex slaves (which, of course, is horrible), we’re talking about the seemingly endless Kony-related posts on Facebook and other social media forums.

The NGO Invisible Children has successfully made Kony the most famous person on Facebook (this week, anyway) in an attempt to spread the word about the atrocities for which he’s responsible (the roughly 66,000 children he’s abducted and forced to fight in his “Lord’s Resistance Army,” the displacement of more than two million people as he’s wreaked havoc across Uganda, etc.).

The problem, however, is that this is nothing new — Kony’s been at it for nearly three decades and already has been indicted for war crimes by the International Criminal Court.

The only difference now is that he’s currently famous amongst Western 20-somethings, who spend more time dickin’ around on Facebook,
impotently chiming in on world issues, than they do participating in things that could actually result in any sort of positive change.In other words, “liking” “Kony 2012” makes about as much difference as “liking” “Snooki’s” upcoming pregnancy,

Yet, everybody’s doing it; so we want to know, New York — and be honest — had you even heard about Joseph Kony before Joseph Kony 2012 dropped on Tuesday?

Cast your vote below.


The Week in Food Blogs: Outer-Borough Restos, Bloody Marys, Fungi

This week in food blogs:

Eater rounded up 10 new restaurants worth an outer-borough commute.

Grub Street delved into how much people actually spend at the city’s top restaurants.

Chowhound looked at the 11 most ridiculous restaurant-related Facebook groups.

Food Republic shouted out the five greatest dramatic sign-offs. Up there with Lou Gehrig and Nixon? Yep, Sam Sifton.

Zagat Buzz asked if New York City has gone Bloody mad: Apparently, Bloody Mary bars are a thing now.

Diner’s Journal had a mushroom expert answer readers’ burning fungus questions.

Serious Eats listed the best tacos to be found on East 116th Street in Spanish Harlem.

Midtown Lunch offered five New York Comic Con lunch recommendations.

The Strong Buzz wondered, Is Williamsburg the new Manhattan?

Gilt Taste considered the cooking of Andrew Carmellini.

The Feast got excited about fall flavors landing in restaurants around the city.

The Daily Meal gave us 13 food celebrity Halloween masks. Yikes!

Immaculate Infatuation launched its smartphone app.


Have Any Famous Friends on Facebook?

Part of the fun of having all those faux-friendships on Facebook is that you can constantly tell people stuff like, “My friend Rihanna said…”

Naturally, you don’t add that you’ve never actually met the woman!

So here’s my query: Do you have any famous FB friends, and did you go after them or did they stalk you?


And I’m not just talking about the fan pages, I mean the actual person!

I’m proud to say I’m extremely close pals — practically siblings — with Joe Dallesandro, Bruce Vilanch, Carol Channing, Pat Cleveland, Renee Taylor, Judith Regan, Denny Dillon, Butch Patrick, and Scott Thompson, so nyah.

In fact, we’re all having a party in my house tonight.

Well, in my computer in my house.