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Make Way For Drag Star Dallas Dubois

Fresh blood on the drag scene is so rare that we must throw ticker parades whenever there’s a new queen in town — like Dallas Dubois, the young lovely whom I saw do a high-kickin’ set at Boots & Saddle the other night.

Ms. Dubois (who’s also gone by the monicker Madonna Manson) most notably lipsynchs a version of “Get Here” with raunchy-assed lyrics that are crude yet amusing. (Check out the YouTube video from last year, though I should warn you that the the camerawork is wobblier than an old queen’s dentures).

At Boots, an audience member was so carried away by Dubois’ performance that he tipped her with a coupon for a Subway sandwich. When Dubois realized it was only for a six-incher, she flung it right back in his face.

A real star!

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Cher and Christina Together In a Movie!

Here are fabulous shots from dlisted.com of two big-lunged divas, Cher and Christina Aguilera, as they film the provocatively titled feature Burlesque.

Are they dolled up enough to merit the headline “Two Drag Queens Crossing The Road”?

And if so, which one is the bigger drag queen?

And the younger looking one?

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Drag Queens Need To Update Their Acts

I love drag queens more than life itself, and I appreciate the timeless appeal of their Bette Davis, Marilyn Monroe, and Eartha Kitt impressions. It’s important to keep those amazing legends alive!

But if these impersonators don’t mix it up and start updating their acts a little, they’re going to become as obsolete as the Fire Island meat rack.

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I was thrilled a few years ago to see the drags finally doing Britney Spears, even if it was only because her messy VMA’s appearance had spawned worldwide mockery.

At least they were including someone current in their acts.

But they need to try more of that! Too often drag queens excuse their way out of this, telling me, “The current divas don’t have mannerisms worth copying.”

As Bette Davis would say, “Pshaw!” That’s just old fogey talk!

Surely amazing acts can be concocted out of aping Pink, Fergie, Beyonce, Lady Gaga, and Susan Boyle.

Not to mention Adam Lambert.

Freshen up or die, bitches. There’s more to life than just Cher.

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I Played Sarah Palin on Olbermann’s Show!

How far will I go to get attention? Think of the farthest thing you can think of–say, Magic Johnson‘s penis–and quadruple it a few times.

To wit: Last night, I went on Countdown With Keith Olbermann, with guest host Lawrence O’Donnell, to recreate bits of speeches Sarah Palin was going to recite, except they wouldn’t let her.

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One was a victory speech she didn’t get to utter for obvious reasons and the other was a concession speech McCain smartly blocked, and not surprisingly, they’re both idiotic!

When the show asked me to don full Palin drag for this high-larious skit, I unhesitatingly said, “No problem! Been there!” As you’ll remember, I already dressed like the winky maverick for the cover of last year’s year-end issue!

God, I’m running out of desperation tactics.

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Drag Queen Sings National Anthem at Ball Game!

It took balls–two of them, to be precise–for the lovely Donna Sachet to get up and belt the National Anthem yesterday at a game between the Giants and the Diamondbacks. And she did us proud. The accessories alone!

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Donna happens to be a San Francisco actor, singer, writer, and charity worker who can now add “first drag queen to sing the National Anthem at a Major League game” to her glittery credits.

I guess they’re forgetting Roseanne.

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Two Little Maids From School

At a party that author Bob Heide invited me to at the Gershwin Hotel the other night for late, great pop artist Andy Warhol’s birthday, I was most captivated by these two mature gentlemen dolled up in crinolines and pincurls. You gotta admire that level of sheer nerve! After praising their large lollipops, I asked the girlie guys if they always dress like this. “Day and night,” one of them replied, beaming. “Except when I sleep. I’ve been retired for three years, and no one cares what I do.” I do–I love it! And no doubt Andy would have flipped his wig about it too.

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David Carradine Cross Dressing Nugget

If David Carradine really died in drag, as the New York Post reported, it wasn’t the first time. In full cross-dress regalia, he played Pearl, a co-kidnapper of a screaming baby, in the obscure 1989 film Sonny Boy. Leonard Maltin describes the movie as a “repulsive, socially unredeemable waste of cellulloid,” but Carradine brought his usual magnetism to it–and he sure did look pretty in polka dots.

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A Drag Queen You’ll Never Forget

Trust me, chickens. This one will sear into your memory till you’re six inches under. It’s Daytona Beach drag star Billie Boots, who may have been toothless but she was far from charmless. Billie–captured here in the documentary Queens For a Night–was sort of like Ursula from The Little Mermaid after a very rough night. But with that eye makeup and that impish hag appeal, she made many others’ nights go down way easier.

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According to my friend Angelo, “Billie was magic. A standard part of her act was taking her dentures out onstage. She was so old and feeble when I caught her act in the late ’90s that she had to hang on to a pole for support for her numbers, which typically included lip-synching routines from Phyllis Diller‘s 60s comedy albums.” And yet…this Boots was made for walking onstage. Brava!

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Some More Drag Queen Names!

A few of these I stole from actual drag queens, while others were made up in the sequined closet of my mind. But wherever they were born, these super fun drag names are all tucked and pretty and begging to be ripped off by any lady with razor stubble.

Kitty Porn, Sue Veneer, Bessie Mae Mucho, Sybil Disobedience, Sybil Rights, Ethylene Glycol, Sharon DaWealth, Sally Forth, Polly Unsaturated, Beatrice Inn, Chanterelle Mushrooms, Terry Cloth, Meryl Lynch, Ruta Wakening, Val Kyrie, Mona Lott, and Merilee Werolla-Long.

And for the drag kings: Emil Nitrate, Euan Me, Evan Escent, Austin Texas, Al Jazeera, and of course Rock Bottom.

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The Best Drag Names

The other night, I went to the annual Night of 1000 Gowns at the Marriott, which benefited the Imperial Court of New York, and which was filled with ceiling-scraping cross dressers with amazing hair, fabulous sequins, and most of all, great names!

Some of the best noms-de-plumed-trannie from that night were:

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Wanda Lust

Crystal De Cantor

Robyn DeBanks

Penny Candy

Farrah Moans

And of course, the immortal Demi Tasse.

So now I have to ask you: What’s YOUR favorite drag name? Vera Similitude?