Author: Tom Breihan

  • American Idol Sets Up A Pretty Boring Finale

    So we lost Haley Reinhart this week. Fuck you, America. That’s all I really have to say about that. I don’t know why twangy teenagers are bulldozing everyone else this year, but it’s going to make for a truly boring one-note final show. Has American Idol ever had a less interesting final two than Scotty […]

  • American Idol Somehow Fits Three Singers Into Two Long Hours

    This week’s endless two-hour American Idol was the annual show where the three remaining contestants all return to their hometowns to wave out of car windows at screaming children. It’s an annual Idol ritual, and it really goes a lot way toward proving just how completely alike all of America’s small towns look. A year […]

  • The Voice: Let’s Keep The Neon Boxing Ring Lit Up Forever

    I’m going to be sad when all the duet battles on The Voice end. I honestly can’t tell you how much I love the idea of duet battles. They’re such an awesome hook for a reality show like this one, and the show pulls off every goofy thing they do with them. The neon-and-glass boxing […]

  • American Idol: James Durbin’s Not-Very-Good Voice Finally Leaves Us

    Tonight, American Idol lost James Durbin. I was sorry to see him go, but only because his departure meant that we’ll never get to see the live-TV Tourettic freakout that I was really excited about back when he first came into our lives. As it turns out, most people with Tourette’s syndrome don’t just yell […]

  • American Idol Gets Inspired To Believe In Itself (And In Lady Gaga)

    American Idol seems like it should build toward a big finale, but it never works out that way. Instead, the real excitement surrounding any season of the show usually peaks around the time of its first shock elimination; this year, that’d be when Pia Toscano went home. By the time a season has reached top-four […]

  • The Voice Gets Ready To Rummmmbllllleeeeeee

    A couple of weeks in, The Voice is already turning out pretty great. The singers, at least thus far, can all actually sing, the coaches all have sharp and productive things to say, and the show’s setup provokes more actual dramatic situations than I would’ve thought possible. Pretty awesome, too, that this week’s episode only […]

  • American Idol: Jacob Lusk, You Were Too Good For This Show

    It always happens. My end-to-end favorite contestant has never, ever won American Idol. They usually do pretty well, but they always flame out within a few weeks of the finish line because of some combination of nerves, bad choices, mass bad taste, and the fact that they’re just generally pretty weird. Jacob Lusk went home […]

  • American Idol: No Judging, Please, We’re Only Being Paid Gobs Of Money To Do So

    Hey, remember when enough people would get voted off American Idol and the show would go down to a much saner 60-minute running time? That was nice. Now, with only five people left, we still get a 90-minute show, with all the contestants singing twice. Maybe Fox is just determined to make Breaking In happen. […]

  • The Voice: Blake Shelton Is Unimpressed, Xtina Likes To “Woo”

    A week into The Voice, and some problems are starting to materialize. During backstage interviews, Carson Daly doesn’t just stand there; he hovers. I can’t imagine ever feeling comfortable around that guy. Christina Aguilera’s mentoring style, right now, seems to be limited to raising both her hands all the way up and screaming, “Woo!” She […]

  • American Idol: Casey Abrams Gets Sent Packing, This Time For Good

    For the second time, Casey Abrams got voted off American Idol, and I honestly don’t have a thing to say about it. I liked him at first, and then I got sick of him yelling and scatting at me. He ended things nicely, screaming and grunting while running around and singing “I Put A Spell […]