Your Official Bingo Card for Tonight’s Election Results Coverage


IT’S FINALLY HAPPENING. Maybe you’ll leave work early to vote, or maybe you’ll just leave work early anyway. Refresh then close that Nate Silver tab for the very last time, swing by the liquor store on the way home to pick up some nice red wine — maybe one of those Chiantis with the straw wrapped around the bottom. Or fuck it, it’s 2016 — a Tempranillo! Nothing too pricey though because you’re ordering a pie from that place that puts sesame seeds on the crust.

There’s nothing you can do but relax and watch Democracy do its messy, awesome, horrifying thing. (Well, almost nothing.) The cable news coverage will most certainly be bad, but that’s why we made this bingo card. Again!

Feel free to play along: the prize for winning is 5,000 shares of TrumpTV™.