But IS Denzel Washington the Greatest Actor of All Time, Period?

This week in Cheap Laughs, we have secret clubs, SF schmucks, movie-themed nipples, Norwegian triples, and Denzel Washington (a/k/a the greatest actor of all time, period). Here’s our rundown of the best in independently produced New York comedy this week.

Wednesday, May 6

The Front Room @ The Knit
The Knitting Factory, 8 p.m., Free

Brooklyn has no formal comedy clubs, but the Knitting Factory may be becoming a solid proxy for one, and stealthily at that. The music venue has done so well with its blowout Sunday shows, it’s adding another night by the same producers. Wednesday visitors to Williamsburg now have another go-to comedy night, fortuitously hot on the departing heels of Big Terrific (the recently-ended alt showcase). Tonight Seaton Smith and Aparna Nancherla are your headliners, anchoring a rock-solid lineup of rising comedy stars.

Thursday, May 7

Greg Proops: The Smartest Man in the World
The Bell House, Doors 7:30 p.m. / 8 p.m., $15

Rolling Stone calls Greg Proops‘s show “some of the boldest comedy on the podcasting frontier right now.” You can see if that’s accurate (or your cup of tea) tonight at the Bell House. It’s a stripped-down production: SF comedy legend Proops takes center stage at a small table with one microphone. The improvisational maven then spins a one-way conversation out of thin air before your astonished faces.

Friday, May 8

And I Am Not Lying
UCBeast, 11:59 p.m., $5
Hide your nerd boner: Blockbuster-themed burlesque is here. Nipple-tasseled artists Tiny D and Lefty Lucy put on a display of Mad Max– and Avengers-inspired erotic performances this evening at this fabled UCBeast variety show. They join storyteller Robin Gelfenbien and stand-up Kara Klenk for an evening heavy on female talent of all kinds.

Saturday, May 9

Best of Blogologues
The PIT, 9:30 p.m., $20

Blogologues is a sketch comedy show featuring material culled 100 percent from the internet and performed word for word. Whatever depths of depravity you think the internet is capable of plumbing, trust us: It’s even worse than you think. Curious what the internet has to say about Bronies, Severus Snape fan fiction, and crazy OkCupid profiles? All will be revealed.

Sunday, May 10

I’m New Here, Can You Show Me Around?
Union Hall, Doors 7.30 p.m. / Show 8 p.m., $10

Norwegian comedian Daniel Simonsen is so funny, he makes you wonder if Norway is full of people like him, like an untapped oil field of absurd comic energy. He is the perfect addition to this immigrant-run and immigration-themed show, and now he’s the proud owner of a three-year visa to tell jokes in America. Joining him are Wyatt Cenac, along with regular hosts Maeve Higgins and Jon Ronson, plus a gaggle of new (or new-ish) New Yorkers.

Monday, May 11

Denzel Washington Is the Greatest Actor of All Time, Period
Union Hall, 9 p.m., $10

Comedians W. Kamau Bell and Kevin Avery are certain of one thing: Denzel Washington is the greatest actor of all time. End of discussion. Each week on their podcast, they attempt to prove that premise, discussing the greatness of Denzel with guests, sharing the latest Denzel news, and reviewing every Denzel movie in alphabetical order. Join Bell and Avery for their discussion tonight.

Tuesday, May 12

Friends of Single People
Littlefield, doors and mixer 7 p.m. / Show 8 p.m., $5

Single? Like comedy? This is the show for you. This long-running, hilarious live dating game show is presenting a date night (open to all orientations). At 7 p.m., there begins a boozy group speed-dating session and mixer. At 8, the game show happens. An equally boozy after-party follows. So far, 100 couples have been matched up, five have developed long-term relationships, and one has even moved in together. That has to be a better strike-rate than eHarmony. Also, tonight is a double-header special: Two dudes get in for the price of one when paying admission at the door.

Northern Discomfort
The Stand, 8 p.m., $5

The Stand’s long-running Tuesday showcase brings Rachel Feinstein to the stage. Feinstein is a good friend of Amy Schumer and also excels at the direct/dirty/post-feminist point of view that is sweeping all of show business right now. Joining her are math-lete comedian Myq Kaplan and bald genius Nick Vatterott. Ray DeVito and Josh Carter are your unreplaceable hosts.

Tinder Live
The Knitting Factory, 9 p.m., $10

It’s the one-year anniversary of this hookup-app-obsessed show. Guest panelists include Tony Award–winning actress Laura Benanti, MTV Guy/Girl Code super-producer Jon Friedman, and hilarious rapper Awkwafina. Do you enjoy the pastime of huddling around a phone with your friends, mocking and judging people on Tinder? This show is like that but 1,000 times bigger and better.

Tom Cowell is a comedian.