An Exciting Elixir for a Stale Statesman: Mitt Romney Inspires Our Beer of the Week


It’s barely 2015 and we already have our first official casualty of the Almighty 2016 Presidential Election Cycle. Mr. Romney, we hardly knew ye. Just kidding, Mittens. You’ve been clambering toward the highest office in the land since all the way back when John McCain was a widely respected figure in national politics. We’re well over a decade removed from those days. As you close the door on yet another campaign, allow me to open the fridge to a fresh new Imperial ale out of Brooklyn. Threes Brewing has just thrown its hat in the ring as a candidate in the New York City IPA Primary, introducing its first heavily hopped offering. With a name evoking the same level of excitement that Romney has always elicited in (at least 47 percent of) the electorate, we bring you Superf*ckingyawn — our beer of the week.

When Threes Brewing opened late last year, it brought more than just the promise of inventive craft styles to Gowanus. The mammoth brewpub on Douglass Street incorporated a rotating pop-up kitchen, a beer garden, artisanal coffee bar, and multi-use event space, all under one roof. With something for everybody, the new neighborhood hangout represented the same sturdy consensus-building defining the Romney/Ryan ’12 ticket.

Noticeably absent, however, was a debut IPA. Presumably, the three owners who inspired the bar’s numerical name were tired of all the so-called hops-takers. You know the type; no matter how many IBUs their brewers offer them, these folks are always thirsty for a bigger handout. Rather than appease these nasty ne’er-do-wells, Threes launched with subtler styles: saisons, wheated session ales — the kind of stuff that’s only enjoyed after you’ve pulled yourself up to the bar, by your bootstraps.

But learning from the mistakes of Mitt’s past, Threes quickly realized that you gotta give the depraved masses what they want. Enter Superf*ckingyawn — a 9.5 percent hop bomb with undertones of tropical fruit and sticky pine resin. It’s that big, bold beer you want to stack up against grilled, spiced meats. Happily, the brewpub agrees and will team up with The Meat Hook on March 1 to host its own convention of sorts, although this one is unlikely to feature Clint Eastwood or many empty chairs. The Sunday-afternoon celebration will, however, showcase a whole roasted lamb.

In the meantime, Superf*ckingyawn is now on tap at Threes along with the brewery’s newest pilsener, Vliet Pils. Since Romney has yet to make an official endorsement, let’s just assume he approves. He should know; he’s tried both of them. Actually, as a devout Mormon, probably not. All the more to pour for the fine craft enthusiasts of the five boroughs.