What the Hell Is Going On, Weather Edition: Arctic Front Expected This Afternoon


What in God’s name are we supposed to do with this weather? I ask you. This morning, we were all waffling over whether it was safe to change out of our Hoth-weight coats and back into something built for merely freezing temperatures. That gamble paid off: it was in the upper 30s to low 40s this morning in most parts of the city and it was great. For once, we all made it to work with our fingers, toes and nose-tips intact. Didn’t even have to break out the desk liquor when we got here.

But say goodbye once again to those nose-tips, because according to the National Weather Service, an Arctic front is moving in fast this afternoon, bringing with it possible gusty winds of up to 45 miles per hour. Seriously. Seriously. Which one of you pissed off the Weather Gods?

The NWS issued this special statement around 11:40, warning that they’ve tracked an Arctic front from the Hudson Valley to northwestern new Jersey. It’s moving southeast at about 25 miles per hour.

The front is expected to hit Morningside Heights by 1:10, the Upper West Side by 1:30, Sheepshead Bay by 1:40 and JFK Airport by 1:50. It’ll also impact the Bronx, Brooklyn, Manhattan, Queens, and Staten Island. You know. All the places where you might conceivably be.

Expect those aforementioned gusty winds, along with “isolated snow showers.” The weather will drop back down to a godforsaken 14 degrees by tonight.

Everyone go outside right now for our last ten minutes of freedom. I’m not kidding. I’m half-standing while I type this. Just go.