Melissa Rivers Objects To Mama Joan’s Surgery


As you know, the current column is a feisty Q&A between myself and WE stars Joan and Melissa Rivers, which I should have subtitled “Two Jews and a Pizza Place.”

And I really know my stuff!

I knew, for example, that in one episode of Joan and Melissa: Joan Knows Best?, daughter dearest is seen yelping at ma for undergoing unnecessary risks by getting yet more “vanity surgery.”

I asked her why she’s suddenly upset about this.

“I’ve always been upset,” replied Melissa.

“But this time, instead of being shushed, I talked about it. It’s a free country. My mom thinks it’s a benevolent dictatorship run by her.”

Rather than heap yet more drama at the great dictator, I simply asked Joan if she’d ever date her surgeon.

“No,” she answered without pause.

“I know him forever.

“And he’s no fun because he won’t tell who else he did,” she cracked.

“I keep dropping names, hoping.

“‘Come on, Katy Perry ring a bell? John Travolta?'”

I guess the man’s the height of discretion — except for doing Joan’s surgery on national TV!