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Born-Again Prez

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Clinton has gathered a small circle of religious leaders to help him conquer his sinning ways. Can the power of prayer save the president?


Erika Johnson
Age: 18
Resides: Union Square
Occupation: Student
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
He’s sorry he got caught. If he had gotten away with it, he wouldn’t be doing this.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
I don’t know if prayer can, but a person can. He can quench those desires if he works at it.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
No. He’s been doing it the last 20 years they’ve been married and now with someone half his age. That’s disgusting.

 


Bob Gorniak
Age: 62
Resides: Lawrence Township, New Jersey
Occupation: Electrical engineer
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
It’s more politics than about needing help. But I think he’s partially sincere.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
Not religion alone. It’s a psychological help. If he thinks it’ll work, a lot of times it’ll work.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
I’d have to argue yes. I had a cheating spouse, and we still get along.

Kathy Cruz
Age: 30
Resides: North Bronx
Occupation: Receptionist
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
No. A friend once explained to me–believe the first version of what a man has to say. Every version after that, he’s filling in what you want to hear. That prayer breakfast, it covered all the bases.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
Prayer can sublimate lustful longings. It’s a replacement for an addiction. So the amount of prayer Clinton would need…well.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
I would not forgive. He betrayed and embarrassed. I have a problem with Hillary setting that example for her daughter.

 


Angel Staff
Age: 23
Resides: Upper West Side
Occupation: Philosophy student
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
No. He has to doit for all the people that care about him and who are religious.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
Not necessarily prayer in the conventional sense. It could just be about meditation. Mind over matter.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
Yeah. You have to decide if you want to give up your whole relationship. Everybody’s human. Who doesn’t cheat?

Nichelle Levy
Age: 30
Resides: Jersey City, New Jersey
Occupation: Law student
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
A part of me says he’s sincere about wanting to talk to spiritual leaders. Another part tells me that it has the air of him saying it’s not his fault, the devil made me do it. It reminds me of those parents who get their kids to pray so they won’t be gay anymore.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
What prayer can do is give you peace, and that gives you more control over your life.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
If I forgive him it implies that he’ll reform and change. After so many times, I don’t know that that’s the case here.

 


Paul Malik
Age: 34
Resides: Corona, Queens
Occupation: Maintenance
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
That’s just a front to make him look good.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
No. I’m not a religious person.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
As far as out of office, no. I couldn’t forgive. My wife wouldn’t forgive me.

Philomena Mullen
Age: 35
Resides: Dublin, Ireland
Occupation: Information technology consultant
Is Clinton sincere about taking the counsel of religious leaders?
He’s been as sincere as an American politician is capable of being.
Can prayer cure lustful longings?
If you believe in it.
If you were Clinton’s spouse, could you forgive?
If this were any other scenario, yes. In this scenario, he lost the idea that discretion is the better part of valor. He confided in a 21-year-old.

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